Saturday Silliness

It’s time for some silliness...


KIDS' THOUGHTS ON LIFE

"Never smart off to a teacher whose eyes and ears are twitching." - Andrew, Age 9

"Wear a hat when feeding seagulls." - Rocky, age 9

"Sleep in your clothes so you'll be dressed in the morning." - Stephanie, age 8

"Don't flush the john when your dad's in the shower." - Lamar, age 10

"Never ask for anything that costs more than $5 when your parents are doing taxes." - Carrol, age 9

"Never bug a pregnant mom." - Nicholas, age 11

"Don't ever be too full for dessert." - Kelly, age 10

"When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer him." - Heather, age 16

"Never tell your mom her diet's not working." - Michael, age 14

"Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat." - Joel, age 12

"When you get a bad grade in school, show it to your mom when she's on the phone." - Alyesha, age 13

"Never try to baptize a cat." - Laura, age 13

"Never do pranks at a police station." - Sam, age 10

"Beware of cafeteria food when it looks like it's moving." - Rob, age 10

"Never tell your little brother that you're not going to do what your mom told you to do." - Hank, age 12

"Listen to your brain. It has lots of information." - Chelsey, age 7

"Stay away from prunes." - Randy, age 9

"Never dare your little brother to paint the family car." - Phillip, age 13

"Forget the cake, go for the icing." - Cynthia, age 8

"Remember the two places you are always welcome: church and Grandma's house." - Joanne, age 11

"When you want something expensive, ask your grandparents." - Matthew, age 12

LETTER FROM THE TOOTH FAIRY

Dear _______________:

Thank you for leaving one [1] tooth under your pillow last night.

While we make every attempt to leave a monetary reward in the case of lost or stolen children's teeth, we were unable to process your request for the following reason(s) indicated below:

( ) the tooth could not be found

( ) it was not a human tooth

( ) we do not think that pieces of chicken bone are very funny

( ) we were unable to approach the tooth due to excessive odor

( ) the tooth has previously been redeemed for cash

( ) the tooth did not originally belong to you

( ) the tooth fairy does not process fingernails

( ) your request has been forwarded to the Nerve Ending Fairy for appropriate action

( ) you were overheard to state that you do not believe in the tooth fairy

( ) you are age 12 or older at the time your request was received

( ) the tooth is still in your mouth

( ) the tooth was guarded by a vicious fairy-eating dog at the time of our visit

( ) no night light was on at the time of our visit

( ) the snacks provided for the tooth fairy were not satisfactory, or were missing

( ) we discovered evidence of unsafe tooth extraction as follows:
[ ] string
[ ] pliers
[ ] gunpowder
[ ] hammer marks
[ ] chisel
[ ] part of skull attached to tooth
[ ] no dental care

( ) other:

Thank you for your request, and we look forward to serving you in the future.

Sincerely,
The Tooth Fairy

Saturday Silliness