Tomorrow is Canada day, so this week’s silliness is all about Canuck land...
A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00.
When the postal authorities received the letter to God,CANADA, they decided to send it to the Prime Minister. The Prime Minister was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. Her thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:
Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through OTTAWA, CAN and those jerks deducted $95.00 in taxes.
Canadian Tourism Humour
The most unusual questions tourists have asked at information bureaus across the country.
**From Tourism Toronto, a toll free info and reservations line
"How do I apply for the Canadian Express Card?"
"What's this Boxing Day in Toronto, do you box on that day?"
"I heard about that new law and I'd like to find out... uh, my girlfriend would like to know the best places to go topless in Toronto."
Caller: "How far is Boston from Toronto?"
Counselor: "About 900 kilometers, or 565 miles."
Caller: "So if I drive using miles, it won't take me as long to get there? Is that what you're saying?"
"Can I take the subway to Vancouver?"
"Good afternoon, I'm entertaining some executives, and would like to know where they can ride llamas."
"What information do you have on Italy?"
**From Check-ln Nova Scotia, the province's toll-free information and reservations number
"Do you have automatic bank machines up there?"
"Are you connected to Greenland?"
"Can you tell me about the ferry from Halifax to Europe?"
"Does Nova Scotia have a dress code?"
** From Alberta's Banff/Lake Louise tourist bureau
"That's such a lovely flag," said a tourist admiring the Canadian flag. 'Does it come in many colors?"
Visitor: "How far is it to Lake Louise?
Staff member: "40 miles"
Visitor: "How long is the trail?"
Staff member: "Five kilometers."
Visitor: "What's that in English?"
"At which elevation do the elk change to moose?"
** From the information kiosk at Niagara Falls, Ontario
"Is the water coming over the falls real?"
"What time do you turn on the rainbow?"
"Are the CN Tower and SkyDome within walking distance?"
"What kind of dye do they put in the water to make it change color like that?" (From a tourist who was admiring the falls at night, when they're lit up with various colored lights)
"I have to be at this address in Vancouver for dinner at 5 o'clock this evening. How much time should I allow myself to drive there?"
"Why do you Canadians have fireworks tonight? The 4th of July is still a few days away."
"Which way do we walk to get to Montreal? We'd like to go there for lunch."