Saturday Silliness

Time to tickle the funny bone...


Long and Short of the Problem

Adam, an elderly man was seated in the doctor's waiting room. When he was called in to see the doctor, Adam slowly got up, and, grasping his cane and hunching over, slowly made his way into the examining room.

After only a few minutes, Adam emerged from the room, walking completely upright. Paul, another patient who had watched him hobble into the room all hunched over, stared in amazement. 'That must be a miracle doctor in there.' he exclaimed. 'What treatment did he give you? What's his secret?'

Adam stared at Paul and said, 'Well, the doctor looked me up and down, analysed the situation, and gave me a cane that was four inches longer than the one I had been using.'


Eye Problems

Ronan kept going to the ophthalmic doctor because his eye hurt and the doctor finally discovered his problem. The Doc told him, 'Your eye hurts when you drink tea, so you can't drink tea.'

Ronan stuttered, 'But I love tea.'

The doctor replied, 'Okay, as long as you take the spoon out.'

Keep Taking the Medicine

Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable.

Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you?

Patient: I sure did - the bottle said 'keep tightly closed.'


Quick Diagnosis

Nurse: 'Doctor, Doctor the man you've just treated collapsed on the front step. What should I do?'

Doctor: 'Turn him around so it looks like he was just arriving!'


Hearing Problems

One Wednesday, Murphy went to a doctor to talk about his wife. He says to the doctor, 'Doctor, I think my wife is deaf because she never hears me the first time and I always have to repeat things.'

'Well, 'the doctor replied, 'Go home and tonight stand about 15 feet from her and say something to her. If she doesn't reply move about 5 feet closer and say it again. Keep doing this so that we'll get an idea about the severity of her deafness'.

Sure enough, Murphy goes home and does exactly as instructed. He starts off about 15 feet from his wife in the kitchen as she is chopping some vegetables and says, 'Betty, what's for dinner?' He hears no response. He moves about 5 feet closer and asks again. No reply. He moves 5 feet closer. Still no reply. He gets fed up and moves right behind her, about an inch away, and asks again, 'Betty, what's for dinner?'

Betty says, 'That's the fourth time you asked me. It's meatloaf.'

Saturday Silliness