So the other day, my husband, my 15-year-old daughter and I went to the Dairy Queen near our home where we stuffed our faces with calorie-packed ice cream and fed our brains with intelligent and important conversation. We talked about the zombie apocalypse.
I got the conversation going because there isn’t much time left. The end of the world is scheduled for December 21, 2012, only four months from today, so isn’t it time to start talking about this?
I thought so.
We debated about what weapons to use. My daughter still insists that using a bow and arrows is the best way because you can retrieve the arrow after you’ve killed a zombie and use it again. Therefore, you never run out of ammunition. Good idea. My husband, on the other hand, is absolutely adamant about using firearms. He doesn’t want to have to retrieve ammunition because that would mean having to get really close to the rotting, soulless corpses and that just doesn’t work for him. Makes sense.
Also, he’s concerned about the arrow covered with diseased zombie blood. “Couldn’t you get infected by it?” He asked. Both my daughter and I raised an eyebrow. That’s something we’d never thought of. My daughter said that that would only happen if you had an open cut and the blood got in there. And that’s fine. But what if you didn’t know you had an open cut? And what if you got blood on one of your fingers without realizing it and you touched your finger to your mouth? This arrow thing seems really risky, if you ask me, especially if you’re a nail biter.
My daughter said you’d clean your arrows after you retrieved them but both hubby and I were skeptical about the effectiveness of that. What would you clean them with? Bleach? And if that was the case, does that mean you’d have to lug around containers of bleach? Meh. A bow and arrows seems like too much trouble.
So we were leaning toward the use of firearms. And feeling kind of comfortable that maybe, just maybe, we’d be able to defend ourselves with the right ammunition. Until I asked the question “Can insects get infected? Because if they can, we’re all screwed, you know.” My husband looked at me. My daughter looked at me. Then my daughter said. “No, no animal, including insects, can be infected.”
“How do you know?” I asked. “It hasn’t happened yet, so no one could possibly answer that. Nobody really knows for sure, do they?”
“Maybe I should take my Christmas vacation early in December,” My husband finally said. “I may as well enjoy some time off from work while the world is still intact.”
“Good idea” I answered.
We all went back to enjoying our ice cream.