Another Saturday, another day for silliness...
Some Of The Biggest Lies Ever Told...
- The check is in the mail.
- I'll respect you in the morning.
- I'm from your government, and I am here to help you.
- It's only a cold sore.
- You get this one, I'll pay next time.
- Drinking? Why, no, Officer.
- I never inhaled.
- It's not the money, it's the principle of the thing.
- ...but we can still be good friends.
- Don't worry, I can go another 20 miles when the gauge is on "empty."
- I gave at the office.
- Don't worry, he's never bitten anyone.
- We'll release the upgrade by the end of the year.
- Read my lips: no new taxes.
- I've never done anything like this before.
- Now, I'm going to tell you the truth.
- It's supposed to make that noise.
- I *love* your new _____!
- ...then take a left. You can't miss it.
TOP 10 SIGNS YOUR FAMILY IS STRESSED...
10. Conversations often begin with "Put the gun down, and then we can talk".
9. The school principal has your number on speed-dial.
8. The cat is on Valium.
7. People have trouble understanding your kids, because they learned to speak through clenched teeth.
6. You are trying to get your four-year-old to switch to decaffeinated.
5. The number of jobs held down by family members exceeds the number of people in the family.
4. No one has time to wait for microwave TV dinners.
3. "Family meetings" are often mediated by law enforcement officials.
2. You have to check your kid's day-timer to see if he can take out the trash.
1. Maxwell House gives you industrial rates.