Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Bromeliads Are Taking Over The World

Alright, I lied. They’re not taking over the world, just my kitchen. But the title did grab your attention, and here you are. Well, you may as well stick around and finish reading this post. What the heck; you came all this way, didn’t you?


I know I’m playing favourites with my plants, but who can blame me? I’m weak when it comes to bromeliads. And like the Aechmea fasciata, I’d like another of my favourites from the awesome bromeliad family to enjoy some bright light. So today, I moved my Vriesea splendens into my kitchen, not too far from the Aechmena. They seem to be getting along just fine, so far.

You know, for the longest time I couldn’t quite put my finger on what this plant reminded me of, something...gosh...darn it...formalish? I just couldn’t put it into words. And then one day, Mr. Subjunctive over at Plants Are The Strangest People hit the nail on the head in this post when he said that “...if ever a plant naturally looked like it was wearing a tuxedo, Vriesea splendens would be that plant as far as I'm concerned. Which is enough of a reason right there to call it James Bond...” And I thought “That’s it! That’s what it reminds me of!” Someone in a tuxedo. No, I wouldn’t have thought of James Bond, although I agree that that’s a perfect fit, but the tuxedo image was lurking somewhere in the black hole in my mind. Okay, maybe not a tuxedo but definitely some type of suit. You know, the formal thing I mentioned before.

Anyway, the point is that I can always count on one of my favourite bloggers to unleash those wacky thoughts. Thanks Mr. S.

So, getting back to the part about moving the Vriesea splendens into my light-flooded kitchen...

I’m hoping that it will also bloom at some point. The mother plant was shed a long time ago and this pup seems to be growing happily on its own; I see new leaves growing every now and then, although hardly enough to get really excited over. Still, a leaf or two from time to time is better than no leaf at all. And together with leaves, I’m hoping my Vriesea splendens rewards me with an awesome flower, although I’m not holding my breath because, apparently, this plant does not bloom easily indoors. Nevertheless, one can hope.

Should my James Bond bromeliad go into bloom, you'll be the first to know.

Oh, and speaking of James Bond:

I’m not a huge fan of action-packed, testosterone-loaded movies, but, occasionally, I do (force myself to) sit through one for my husband’s sake because he really likes these types of films. And it seems only fair since he’s sat through some chick flicks and tear-inducing dramas and romantic comedies (which aren’t that bad, if you ask me). And he hasn’t fallen asleep on any of them. Impressive.


I’d never watched a James Bond movie (yes, really), so, when my husband recently asked (pleaded) to watch one, I said “Sure, why not? I’ve never seen one; it may turn out to be fun”


I really meant to stay awake throughout the whole movie but found myself slowly nodding off halfway through, which if you ask me isn’t bad, considering I was ready to do so after the first half hour. And for about 15 minutes or so, I battled, futilely, to stay focused. But self said “I’m outta here; deal with it” So the eyes closed and I began to slowly slide down until I became one with the couch. Zzzzz…


A few days later, I asked my husband “What do you guys like about James Bond, anyway? I found it painfully boring, and the guy’s got an ego the size of an elephant.”

The husband smiled and said “Oh, I don’t know. Good looking guy. Loads of confidence. Strong. Great fighting skills. Lots of action. Fast cars. Guns. Beautiful women...”


(I must confess that I did find Daniel Craig...rather...um...interesting...)

As an actor, of course.



  1. I concur: Daniel Craig is interesting. Though I have yet to see any movie of his that looks as interesting: for example, the thing about the ragtag band of Jews in Nazi Germany who fought off the Nazis, or whatever that was, looked painfully bad.

    And James Bond usually just strikes me as so ridiculously contrived that I can't suspend disbelief long enough to try to enjoy it. I don't mind action movies, as long as they're semi-plausible. (Just as a point of comparison: District 9, a movie about intelligent crustaceans from outer space that are addicted to cat food, struck me as more realistic than any snippet of any James Bond movie I've ever seen. And was by most accounts a better movie, too.)

    But whatever. I don't really like spy movies as a genre, so perhaps I'm not being fair.

    In any case, yes, Vriesea splendens is very high on my favorite-plants list (which is itself pretty damn long), just by virtue of the foliage. I only wish that they were easier to propagate. The only thing better than the two Vriesea splendens I have now would be having thirty of them. It's a shame the flowers aren't self-fertile.

  2. Great post, Martha. I love your sense of humor. And, yeah...Daniel Craig does have a fascinating...umm...personality, doesn't he?
    And speaking of fascinating...I love that plant. It's really beautiful.

  3. Beautiful Vriesia. One of these is going on my wish list for sure.

    I've yet to see one of the Daniel Craig Bond movies. Mr. Craig does have a certain Je ne sais quoi, though. I really think James Bond belongs to a bygone era. The best ever Bond movie, IMO, is From Russia with Love, which I think is from 1966. It can be enjoyed both as an artifact of its era, and as a really exciting movie.

  4. "As an actor." hehe you are so funny! I too have a very difficult time staying awake during movies that aren't top on my attention-span-list. I even try to sit up in the most uncomfortable for sleeping (but still comfortable) position to try and fend of the desire to close the eyes. But alas, I never win...or maybe I do...:)

  5. He is pretty interesting, isn’t he, Mr. S? And you know, he’s not really my type, yet I find him really attractive in some odd kind of way. Maybe it’s his aura of mystery. I certainly hope it’s not the ego.

    And I did watch that film about the “ragtag band of Jews in Nazi Germany who fought off the Nazis” that he was in. It wasn’t painfully bad, but it wasn’t very good either. It was…oh, I don’t know…different. I wouldn’t see it again but I managed to stay awake through it.

    I’ve never had the desire to watch James Bond films because I was convinced – like you said – that they’d be a little farfetched. Well, I wasn’t disappointed on that front. And it’s not like I don’t like action films at all; I do. I just like something a little more believable.

    I agree with you about the foliage on the Vriesea splendens. And in all honesty, I don’t really mind all that much if my plant never flowers because it’s such a cool-looking plant. Although I certainly wouldn’t mind if it did.

    Beth, my husband and I live a Seinfeld life; that’s the type of humour that goes on in our house. I don’t think a day goes by that we don’t come up with something outrageously funny. It usually starts with something small, like something that occurs in our day or something we notice outside, and then we take off with it. This is one of the things I love about my husband; he’s got the same wacky sense of humour as I do and he laughs at my jokes – and my silly moments. He usually joins in and expands on it.

    Oh, yes, Daniel Craig has an interesting personality, for sure…(nudge, nudge, wink, wink)

    Karen, if you haven’t grown this plant yet, you must! Oh, it’s not only beautiful, but it’s so easy to grow. I know that some books or websites insist that it’s more difficult than other bromeliads, but don’t listen to them. This is one of my most well-behaved indoor plants. It makes no demands and looks gorgeous all the time.

    I’ve only seen one James Bond move, one with Daniel Craig (although I don’t remember the name of it), although I know of all the others. I’ve just never taken an interest in seeing any of them. I wasn’t sure I’d enjoy them. Now I know I don’t :)

    Hey Pale Gardener, nice to see you over here!

    I’m not very good at staying awake when watching movies that bore me, no matter if the movie is popular with everyone else. I tend to do what you do, which is to sit up in the most uncomfortable (but somewhat comfortable) positions to try to fend off sleep while the eyes are closing. But if a movie is really, really dullsville, I tend to start sliding down the couch until I’m finally horizontal. Then it’s definitely lights out!