Saturday, December 4, 2010

Saturday Silliness

Every silliness post in the month of December is going to be about Christmas. Let’s start this week’s festive humour with some jokes...


A Politically Correct Christmas Greeting

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender neutral, winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a religion at all;

Additionally, a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions have helped make our society great, without regard to the race, creed, color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

(Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no responsibility for any unintended emotional stress these greetings may bring to those not caught up in the holiday spirit.)


A Few Signs You Bought a Bad Christmas Tree

- It’s two feet tall, forty feet wide

- The salesman's opening line is: "You're not a cop, are you?"

- While you sleep, it gets liquored up and takes the family caravan for a joy ride.

- It's very small and says "air freshener" on it.

- It’s constantly bragging about its "trunk size"


Signs Santa Doesn't Like Your Kid

- Your kid’s letter to the North Pole comes back stamped, "Dream on, kid!"

- Your kid asks for a new bike and gets pack of smokes.

- Along with presents, Santa leaves a hefty bill for shipping and handling.

- By the time Santa gets to your house, all he has left are styrofoam peanuts.

- Christmas day, your kid wakes up with a Reindeer head in his bed. (Oooh…nasty)

- Instead of "Naughty" or "Nice", Santa has your kid on the dork list.

- Labels on all your kid's toys read "Straight from Craptown".


...and end it with some photos...



2 comments:

  1. we all need a smile to get us through the holiday season, hope you are having a great weekend

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  2. We sure do, crafty gardener! The holiday season is busy and often stressful, so a little humour now and again puts a smile back on our face. It's been a lovely weekend with all this wonderful sunshine!

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