Saturday, August 13, 2011

Saturday Silliness

The best way to start the day is with a smile on your face...



10 Clues That You've Gone Overboard On Home Improvement

1. You've built a drive-thru car wash in the second slot of your 2-car garage.

2. You'll use any excuse to add a new room onto the house, including needing more space for the newest addition to the family -- your daughter's goldfish Buffy.

3. Even Martha Stewart has deemed your multi-level, hydraulically-operated kitchen is "a bit overdone."

4. You've converted the standard stall shower into a "bathing waterfall," complete with tropical plants.

5. Your rear-projection, surround-sound TV room can comfortably seat 43, and you're trying to make arrangements with Universal for first run films.

6. Your dog has a duplex dog house out back, even though he sleeps in bed with you every night.

7. The local building department says you can't add a fourth floor to a house that was originally zoned as a single level dwelling.

8. You bought and demolished your next door neighbour’s house to make room for an Olympic size swimming pool.

9. You've installed a small freight elevator going to your attic.

10. You've built an FAA-approved helipad on your roof.


If Men Really Ruled The World

- Nodding and looking at your watch would be deemed an acceptable response to "I love you."

- Hallmark would make "Sorry, what was your name again?" cards.

- When your girlfriend really needed to talk to you during the game, she'd appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out. (Love this one!

- Breaking up would be a lot easier. A smack to the ass and a "Nice hustle, you'll get 'em next time" would pretty much do it.

- The funniest guy in the office would get to be CEO.

- At the end of the workday, a whistle would blow and you'd jump out your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

- Instead of beer belly, you'd get "beer biceps."

- Instead of an expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said, "You're #1!"

- Valentine's Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap years.

- Cops would be broadcast live, and you could phone in advice to the pursuing cops. Or to the crooks.

- It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car, as long as you returned it the following day with a full tank of gas.

- Every man would get four real 'Get Out of Jail Free' cards per year.

- When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:
Cop: "You know how fast you were going?"
You: "All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place."
Cop: "Nice one. That's $10 off."

- Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation.

2 comments:

  1. Where is this world... I must go there... hehehe.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Ha ha ha...I know a lot of others that would love to join you in that world, WebDebris!

    ReplyDelete