Sunday, August 12, 2012

Ice Cream and Intellectual Conversation

So the other day, my husband, my 15-year-old daughter and I went to the Dairy Queen near our home where we stuffed our faces with calorie-packed ice cream and fed our brains with intelligent and important conversation. We talked about the zombie apocalypse.

I got the conversation going because there isn’t much time left. The end of the world is scheduled for December 21, 2012, only four months from today, so isn’t it time to start talking about this?

I thought so.

We debated about what weapons to use. My daughter still insists that using a bow and arrows is the best way because you can retrieve the arrow after you’ve killed a zombie and use it again. Therefore, you never run out of ammunition. Good idea. My husband, on the other hand, is absolutely adamant about using firearms. He doesn’t want to have to retrieve ammunition because that would mean having to get really close to the rotting, soulless corpses and that just doesn’t work for him. Makes sense.

Also, he’s concerned about the arrow covered with diseased zombie blood. “Couldn’t you get infected by it?” He asked. Both my daughter and I raised an eyebrow. That’s something we’d never thought of. My daughter said that that would only happen if you had an open cut and the blood got in there. And that’s fine. But what if you didn’t know you had an open cut? And what if you got blood on one of your fingers without realizing it and you touched your finger to your mouth? This arrow thing seems really risky, if you ask me, especially if you’re a nail biter.


My daughter said you’d clean your arrows after you retrieved them but both hubby and I were skeptical about the effectiveness of that. What would you clean them with? Bleach? And if that was the case, does that mean you’d have to lug around containers of bleach? Meh. A bow and arrows seems like too much trouble.

So we were leaning toward the use of firearms. And feeling kind of comfortable that maybe, just maybe, we’d be able to defend ourselves with the right ammunition. Until I asked the question “Can insects get infected? Because if they can, we’re all screwed, you know.” My husband looked at me. My daughter looked at me. Then my daughter said. “No, no animal, including insects, can be infected.”

“How do you know?” I asked. “It hasn’t happened yet, so no one could possibly answer that. Nobody really knows for sure, do they?”

Silence.

“Maybe I should take my Christmas vacation early in December,” My husband finally said. “I may as well enjoy some time off from work while the world is still intact.”

“Good idea” I answered.

We all went back to enjoying our ice cream.


15 comments:

  1. You guys are funny! And you bring up some interesting and perplexing questions...I'll have to think about all of this. My personal plan was to surround my doors with treadmills..zombie walks up and just keeps walking;)

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    1. Hahahaha... I love that idea! They'd probably never figure it out.

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  2. My hubby and I have a whole plan for the Zombie Apocalypse already, from food and water to defense techniques. There actually is a Zombie Camp in New Jersey, where you learn to shoot, wire a car, etc. We gotta be prepared. There isn't much time left... little bit over 4 months and counting. ;-)

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    1. I find that so cool -- an acutal Zombie camp where you can learn survival techniques. We are nowhere near being prepared. We'll end up being zombie food!

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  3. Eeek! I had no idea that there was going to be a Zombie Apocalypse! I'm supposed to be in Florida on that date. I hope they'll be prepared. I personally agree with your husband, I'd want to blast them with a shotgun, because I at least know how to use one of those!

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    1. Bummer, Sulky! It would really suck if there were zombies around during your time there. Maybe it won't have hit there yet :)

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  4. Please do write something about it Martha. I would love to know your insights on the subject :)

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    1. I'm already working on it. It's a topic that fascinates me.

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  5. Hahaha.. Coincidentally, I was just talking about this with a friend last night. She's convinced that aliens will -- if not destroy the entire planet -- at least make some sort of definite, explicit contact with us. For some reason they're choosing to wait till that specific date. As you know, they'd been doing it secretly all the while in places like Roswell, where vultures and the odd farmhand would see them, but the Mayans or someone told them that Dec 21st is it. (and in case they are zombies, I think bows and arrows might be a little unhygienic).

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    1. I'm open to other ideas. Perhaps aliens will contact us. Who knows? We cannot possibly predict what will happen at any given time with these types of things. What will be, will be...

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  6. Very good questions you guys raise. Bow and arrow might be fun if you want to play around and hit them from your roof. But if you've got lots of them around, coming in on you, you're gonna need something more automatic. Especially since we're not like Legolas from Lord of the Rings with a never ending arrow supply and impeccable aim and super fastness. Ammo would certainly be a problem. Maybe you should cash in your retirement savings and just buy ammo? That way you could have a basement or bedroom filled to the gills and so when they come, you're ready. Well, for a year or so. And then what? I don't know. Hmm. Maybe the better bet is to work on a vaccine. Zombie vaccine. Give yourself the shot and then if you get infected, you'll be okay. So no worries.

    I also read a post recently at Narrow Bridge that offered some thoughts on a Zombie Apocalypse (http://www.narrowbridge.net/managing-your-finances-in-a-zombie-apocalypse/#more-7491). Some nice ideas there for preparing. Although maybe just getting back to your ice cream is better spent time. :-)

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    1. All very good ideas. The best one being to work on a zombie vaccine! That would eliminate the debate about what weapon to use.

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  7. The Zombie Survival Guide goes in great detail on the type of weapons to kill zombies. Guns are nice, but you have to remember most of the world will become a zombie. So that means a lot of bullets, and as time goes on bullets will be harder and harder to come by. Not to mention that zombies are attracted to noise. Shooting a gun will be more or less sending a I am here flare up into the sky.

    Bow and arrows are a nice silent killer. Has a lot off issues as you suggested. And unless you can make your own arrows, supply again will be an issue.

    The best weapons you can have are basic tools like a hammer, small pick axes (have to be careful about curved blades getting stuck), swords, maces, and crow bars. These weapons last a long time and do not need ammo.

    I love zombie apocalypse talk. :)

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    1. That is a very good point --- guns are very noisy, so you would quickly give away your 'secret' location. A bow and arrows have their problems, for sure, and you'd need to be trained. I couldn't shoot a wall in front of me with it, so I can't possibly imagine hitting a zombie in the head coming at me. The rest of the weapons you mention are all great ideas, but they would also need to be sterilized after each use. Gotta get rid of that infectious zombie blood. I love this kind of talk, too. It's also so interesting to hear the ideas other people put forward.

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