“There's no other love like the love for a brother.
There's no other love like the love from a brother.”
- Terri Guillemets -
My brother who passed away last year has been on my mind a lot lately. I’ve been going through all my photos, sorting and organizing them, so I can create photo books. As I go through images all the way back to my childhood, I’m running across picture after picture of him, and I’m reminded of so many wonderful memories him and I built together. Some of them quite funny. Like the time he explained how babies are made. That’s right. I found out where babies really come from courtesy of my brother when we were quite young.
How it happened...
One day as I was heading out to play, I saw him off to the side, encyclopedia in hand, whispering to a friend as though they were conspiring about something. He called me over to share some newfound knowledge. He had, he explained, discovered how babies are made, and wanted to share that startling information with me. Because I should know. It was that shocking.
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| OHMYGOD! You mean babies aren't delivered by the stork? |
That’s how I learned about sex – my brother told me. He learned about it because he was inquisitive and spent a lot of time reading about things in the encyclopedia. My parents never, ever spoke to us about that subject. It was taboo. There were a lot of taboo subjects in our home (this was true of many families during those days) and this was one of them.
So, that day I learned the basics of reproduction – the science behind it – from my brother, and anything after that I had to learn on my own, through books, chatting with friends or sharing with one another whatever information we had picked up somewhere. I don’t condone this style of learning. It’s a terrible way for kids to learn about such important subjects, primarily because there’s a great chance they’ll be misinformed. But that’s the way things were done back then. People were much more conservative, and a lot of subjects were not up for discussion. Whatever you learned, you learned on your own.
Thank goodness times are changing.
I know what you mean. There is no way that my parents would ever have spoken to me or my siblings about anything sexual. My mother would simply turn the television off if there was even a hint of nudity or anything remotely sexual. I'm glad you have so many fond memories of your brother.
ReplyDeleteThings were a little different back then, and some topics were not up for discussion. This was definitely one of them.
DeleteHow wonderful to have such an ease and closeness with your brother. Though yes, learning about the birds and bees from one's equally young peers is probably not the best thing. These days though, I cringe at how MUCH the kids do know (I was listening to this incredibly stupid, explicit song on the radio by Usher earlier while ironing, something about "I see you over there so hypnotic, Thinkin' 'bout what I'd do to that body... Got no drink in my hand, but I'm wasted, Gettin' drunk off the thought of you naked..." UGH!!!). My 8-year-old already knew a good deal, and I decided to just have it all out and explain everything properly to her.
ReplyDeleteI know...things have gone to the other extreme. The kids are exposed to so many things at a relatively young age; things that are beyond their comprehension. I feel that we are forcing them to grow up too fast. It's rather sad.
DeleteWell, at least your brother was smart enough to consult an encyclopedia instead of just learning about sex "in the gutter." Remember when that was a common phrase, LOL?
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely right! And yes, I remember that phrase...LOL! I'm certainly old enough :0
DeleteIt's really wonderful that you and your brother were so close, Martha, and that you have so many good memories of him, including the funny ones. Sometimes those can be the best ones, I think.
ReplyDeleteMy parents were the same way. Although my mama did have The Talk with me, she didn't give me a whole lot of helpful details, just the idea that my periods had something vaguely to do with reproduction. And she couldn't bring herself to use any actual anatomical terms---it was mostly "Down There." :-) But, as you say, that's the way most folks were back then. I've got to confess--the way I learned what I needed to know (when I was 18) was by reading "Everything You Ever Wanted to Know About Sex *but Were Afraid to Ask" on my breaks at the library where I worked. I hid it under magazines, haha!
Hahaha...I love your library story, Beth! I can just picture you sneakily reading those books. Brilliant! Well, since no one was willing to provide us with sufficient information on the subject, we had to find another way.
DeleteYeah, I learned everything I needed to know at school and from friends who stolen their dad's magazines. I remember when I had to take a note home for my parents to sign because they were teaching a sex education class. My dad signed and asked if I had any questions. I know I was sort of chuckling inside because that information wasn't needed. I had already heard and saw it all. (Well I thought so in my head anyway.) But as you said, my parents are extremely conservative and that is just the way it was done back then.
ReplyDeleteYes, that certainly was just the way it was back then. There were many boys I knew back then who had stolen magazines from their dads...LOL...
DeleteSo sorry for the loss of your brother. It sounds like he was a wonderful childhood companion. As for reproductive issues. I thought by the time people in your generation came along things were better. pparently not though. No secrets now. Having taught sex ed for several years I know there ain't much they don't know these days.
ReplyDeleteYes, there certainly isn't much they don't know these days. But I wonder if they're growing up much too fast. Some of the innocence seems to be lost along the way.
DeleteIt's really wonderful that you were so close to your brother. This is such a great story and he obviously cared a great deal for you to share his new found discovery when you were both so young. Regarding reproduction....it was the same in my family, the birds and bees were never discussed. I learned from other girls in my school and from reading racy stories in Redbook magazine!
ReplyDeleteThe birds and the bees were taboo subjects in the homes of most of us 'older' folks. That was the way it was. I'm glad that we can communicate more openly with kids these days.
DeleteI remember learning from a friend and I could not believe my ears!!! And I vowed never......
ReplyDeleteWhat great memories you must have Martha of your brother. I know you cherish them.
Hahaha...that is how I felt at that age, Jim...NEVER... Yes, I have great memories of my brother, and I cherish all of them.
DeleteI am so sorry for the loss of your brother Martha... I have 1 brother too and always think of him of the one family I will have left in the world when my parents go... I am glad you had him, that he cared so much for you and who still seems to teach you news things, even after being gone.
ReplyDeleteHe was a very special person, and even though he's not physically here anymore, he still lives on. There are so many terrific memories that I can look back at.
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