Saturday, November 10, 2012

Saturday Silliness

It’s humour time!





Communication Breakdown

A judge was interviewing a woman regarding her pending divorce, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"

She replied, "About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property."

"I mean," he continued, "What are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle living here in town, and so do my husband's parents."

He said, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No," she replied, "We have a two-car carport and have never really needed one."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like the music, but the answer to your question is 'yes'."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes," she responded, "most days he gets up earlier than I do."

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why do you want a divorce?"

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I never wanted a divorce. It's husband. He says he can't communicate with me."



A Love Letter

I shall take you to bed and have my way with you.
I will make you ache, shake and sweat until you moan and groan.
I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop.
I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you.
And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days.

All my love,
The Flu

(Now, get your mind out of the gutter and go get your flu shot.)

16 comments:

  1. Thanks for this Martha...gees I think I've been under that skirt....ZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzooom!

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  2. This was hilarious!! Now I must deal with 'you know who'!!!lol

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    Replies
    1. Hahaha...yes, I think I do know 'you know who', Jim!

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  3. That ark cartoon is priceless - they'd better do something and quick!

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  4. Replies
    1. It sure is. Haven't had a romance with it for years! I hope it continues to stay that way.

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  5. Loved the flu love letter. Yes, my mind is always in the gutter!

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  6. omg Martha, the flu poem is priceless and my mind wasn't in the gutter at all!!!!!! ;-)

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