An Introvert In An Extroverted World

“In a gentle way, you can shake the world.”

- Gandhi -

I ran across an interesting video a few days ago, and it reminded me of what it felt like being an introvert during my early years, way before I discovered that I had this type of personality, and way before I even knew what it was.

In a previous post about introversion on this blog, I wrote: “In my younger years, being an introvert proved to be quite a challenge. And at times, emotionally trying. The world is dominated primarily by extroverts, and social norms favour them.”

That is so terribly true.

And because the world is dominated by extroverts, they tend to set the expectations society places on us, and the terms that define us. For example, extremely sociable and gregarious individuals, in their opinion, are more desirable, more influential and confident, livelier, warmer, more empathetic and certainly happier.

But introverts are labeled as self-centered, boring, lonely recluses, aloof, stuck-up and, undoubtedly, miserable --- words that suggest smallness of personality and emotional coldness.

What I’ve come to realize over the years is that extroverts have little or no understanding of introversion. Because they are energized by people, and wilt and fade when they’re alone for extended periods of time, they cannot fathom how someone could possibly live in such a ‘disconnected’ way. They quickly become bored by themselves, and will inevitably pick up the phone or drop in on a friend to connect with someone and boost their energy meter. In contrast, an introvert becomes exhausted after being socially ‘on’ for lengthy periods, and needs time alone with his or her thoughts to reenergize.

Try as I may, I’ve never been able to get the extroverts in my life to fully comprehend why I live life the way I do. And that I'm fine with that. I am not unfriendly. Or socially phobic. Or depressed. Or in need of therapy or medication. I am an introvert. An introspective individual. A quiet observer.  I think before I speak. I stroll through my life rather than race through it. I feel deeply. Ponder a lot of things. And need to be alone with my thoughts from time to time. It is as necessary for my well-being as sleeping and eating.

At this point in my life, I no longer care how I'm perceived. I am comfortable with it all. I fully embrace all these things about myself, and wholeheartedly value all the positive aspects about being an introvert. I understand and appreciate who I am. I recognize what I need to be happy. I realize I can only take the extroverts and their noisy world in small doses. And have come to accept that it’s okay to cross the street when I’m just not in the mood for small talk.