And boy do I have a scrumptious Christmas cake recipe for you. Best one you'll ever
TEQUILA CHRISTMAS CAKE
Ingredients:
1 cup sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1 cup white flower
1 cup water
1 tsp. salt
1 cup brown sugar
Lemon juice
4 large eggs (room temperature)
Nuts (your choice)
1 bottle tequila
2 cups dried fruit
Directions:
Sample tequila to check quality. Get a large bowl.
Check tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. Pour one level cup and drink. Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again.
At this point, it’s best to make sure the tequila is still OK. Try another cup...just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy.
Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the frigging fruit up off the floor.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the tequila to test for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Check the tequila.
Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. No wait...shtrain the lemon juice and shtift your nuts.
Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don’t forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl through the window.
Finish the tequila and wipe the counter with the cat.
Cherry Mristmas!
[smirk]
Snort...giggle...snort...
I must say that I roared with laughter at the part about wiping the counter with the cat. I should try that one time and see how my own cats feel about it. Of course, I have to be prepared for the fact that I may end up needing a few stitches...
TEQUILA!
ReplyDeleteSo funny, it reminds me of The Galloping Gourmet, do you remember him? :-) I just looked him up, Graham Kerr.
Wow, I had good taste when I was a kid! I always liked watching him!
Yes, I remember him!! I'd completely forgotten about The Galloping Gourment. Even the name is catchy.
DeleteHilarious!! Yes, I don't reccomend wiping up with the cat - you'll be needing more tequila at that point, just to numb the pain ... :D
ReplyDeleteHahaha..yes, some morphine most likely :)
DeleteHa ha! That is a pretty interesting recipe, Martha. Do you suppose it would work with a bottle of Whisky?
ReplyDeleteI think it'll work with whatever your heart desires ;)
DeleteI could see HRH wiping the counter with me, but not vice versa!
ReplyDeleteHahahaha...no doubt about that!
DeleteI know a few people who would want a slice
ReplyDeleteThat wouldn't include you, would it? ;0
DeleteMmmmm I may have to bake this one a couple times this month.
ReplyDeleteHahaha...and if it ever makes it into the oven!
DeleteA 'never fail' recipe, for sure!! My favourite kind!! lol
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely no fail!
Deletehungover cat??? you outdid yourself on the cute meets funny!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteA little tequila is what we all need this time of year!
DeleteProjectile laughter coming out of me, Martha! Love this and GUESS WHAT? I'm sharing!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteRon
Hahaha...I love that 'projectile laughter! I don't think I've ever heard anyone say that before. I must remember it. By all means, share away! I did.
DeleteI remember The Galloping Gourmet too! I'm sure that he would get into the spirits of this recipe. A funny post. I'll have to stock up on Cuervo and give it a try. :)
ReplyDeleteCertainly worth a try just to have a little fun! Unless you're a cat. Then you might want to stay out of the kitchen... :)
Delete