A Writer I’d Happily Have A Drink With

So I was thinking the other day about all the reading I’ve done in my life and how many writers I’ve met (through books) and this question popped into my head:
If I could meet one writer (alive or dead) in person, who would I choose?

And let me tell you, it was very hard to settle on one. Because there are so sO SO many writers to date whose work I’ve read. And enjoyed. Oodles. But after a considerable amount of thought, and for various reasons, I decided on Mark Twain.

“Opinions based upon theory, superstition, and ignorance are not very precious.”

I was forced to read his books in high school, and discovered – much to my surprise - that they’re pretty darn good. Twain scored big points for this since there were other authors that I painfully ‘read’ through. So I like his stories, and his writing style. And I’m grateful that the teacher who introduced me to him thought so, too.

 

“The older we grow the greater becomes our wonder at how
much ignorance one can contain without bursting one's clothes.”

In addition to enjoying some of his books, I think I’d enjoy his company. He seems like a lot of fun, and I imagine conversations with him would be enlightening, and quite entertaining. Witty, intelligent and blunt...what’s there not to like?

 

“I haven't any right to criticize books, and I don't do it except when I hate them. I often
want to criticize Jane Austen, but her books madden me so that I can't conceal my frenzy
from the reader; and therefore I have to stop every time I begin. Every time I read 'Pride and
Prejudice' I want to dig her up and beat her over the skull with her own shin-bone.”

I’m also under the impression that he was progressive but also quite cynical about humanity, which resonates strongly with me. I cling to hope for a better world, but certainly don’t hold my breath that the dark underbelly of human beings will ever cease to exist. I think I’d enjoy discussing these thoughts with this writer.

"Man is the only animal that deals in that atrocity of atrocities, War. He is the only one

that gathers his brethren about him and goes forth in cold blood and calm pulse to

exterminate his kind. He is the only animal that for sordid wages will march out...and help

to slaughter strangers of his own species who have done him no harm and with whom he

has no quarrel. And in the intervals between campaigns he washes the blood off his hands

and works for "the universal brotherhood of man"--with his mouth.

And let’s not forget that this lecturer, satirist, journalist and author of 28 books and numerous articles and short stories was a great cat lover. Yup, he sure was. He had a beloved black cat named Bambino, and when it went missing, Twain placed an ad in the New York American offering a $5 reward for its return.

At his farm in Connecticut, Twain kept eleven cats. He wrote: “I simply can't resist a cat, particularly a purring one. They are the cleanest, cunningest, and most intelligent things I know, outside of the girl you love, of course.”

And his wittiness didn’t stop at his writing; it was included in the naming of his cats, some of which were called: Sour Mash, Stray Kit, Sin, Satan, Apollinaris, Zoroaster, Blatherskite, Beelzebub. Names that, according to him "given them not in an unfriendly spirit, but merely so the children could practice large and difficult styles of pronunciation." He was the ‘crazy cat man’, and you gotta like him simply for that alone.

So, yes, if I had a chance to meet a (dead or alive) writer, it most certainly would be Mark Twain.

And if he was alive today, I think he would even like grumpy cat. And she might even like him.