Monday, August 12, 2013

Chuckles and Chortles

And here we are once again with a brand new week ahead of us. I hope you all had a lovely weekend. Hubby has been on vacation for the past week, and he’s got one more to go, so we’ve been going here, there and everywhere when the weather allows, and having a hoot of a time together. Who says ‘staycations’ can’t be fun when there is an unlimited selection of day trips to choose from? And photograph.
 
Anyhow, let’s get to today’s post, which will hopefully tickle your funny bone.
 
 
 
 


What Not To Say On A First Date

- "I really don't like this restaurant that much, but I wanted to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired."

- "I refuse to get cable. That's how they keep tabs on you."

- "I never said you NEED a nose job. I just said it wouldn't hurt to consider it."

- "Could you excuse me? My cat gets lonely if he doesn't hear my voice on the answering machine every hour."

- "I really feel that I've grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn't have given someone like you a second look."

- "It's been tough, but I've come to accept that most people I date just won't be as smart as I am."

- "I’ll be right back. I have to take the biggest dump."

- "After dessert, let’s buy a puppy together. We can name him Cupid. Or something."

- "So I put our names into an online love calculator and…"

- "On the count of three let’s both say the weirdest STD we’ve ever contracted."

- "Any weird recessive genes in your family I should know about now?"

 
 
 
 
 
I wish you all a wonderful Monday, and a great week ahead. If you’re searching for me, look here, there and everywhere. That’s where I’ll be.

30 comments:

  1. I so love your blog and i love day trips as well. The Nat Geo photo grabbed my funny bone- hilarious !

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    1. Thanks, Lisa. That's kind of you to say that about my blog. And I'm so happy to have you part of my blogging circle of friends. I'm glad I was able to tickle your funny bone.

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  2. Enjoy your day trips. That blunt card is hilarious!!!

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    1. Imagine these types of cards being sold as Hallmark cards!

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  3. Enjoy your new week... Thank for a funny blog...

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    1. It's always nice to see you here, Viera! Have a lovely week.

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  4. That's right -- the loaves and fishes wouldn't go over well with today's picky eaters! Great Monday morning LOLs!

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    1. Jesus would have a heck of a time in this day and age!

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  5. That religious one is hilarious! Happy Monday.

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  6. Thanks for the laughs. We love staycations too!

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  7. Those are funny things not to say on a date!

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    1. Hi Sherry, and welcome to my blog. It's always nice to see new people. I will check out your blog/blogs in a bit.

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  8. You have a groovy Monday as well. Here's to another week with your hubby on holiday. Very cool.

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    1. Thanks! We do have fun together, and I always look forward to these vacation periods.

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  9. LOVED this post! Lots of funny stuff here. Our cats have been known to perpetrate body slams on each other, and that blunt card is a hoot, but my favorite? The things not to say on a first date. I've never seen any of them before, and they're all good. Happy Monday to you, too. (And, NO, that's not an oxymoron!)

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    1. Glad you enjoyed! Cats are hilarious when they get into their play fighting modes. Mine do the silliest things when that mood hits them.

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  10. Thank you for a great post. Always good to start a Monday with a few laughs. Hope your week has many more.

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    1. I'm glad you enjoyed, and welcome to my blog! It's always great to see new people here. And I will be checking out your blog as soon as I'm done replying to the comments.

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  11. Oh my, I've heard some dating lines very similar to the ones you listed. I enjoyed every part of this post. The discussion at the check-out counter reminds me of Trader Joe's. They tend to ask. But they do seem to care about my response, or so I delude myself. (They're just filling time to get to the end of their shift.)

    Have a great week, Martha.
    xoRobyn

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    1. I have a lot of those conversations when I do my shopping. And I like to believe that they do take some interest. I shop at the same places all the time, and I've gotten to know the cashiers/workers, etc, so it's possible that they do enjoy the chatting.

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  12. The second one DID it for me!!lol

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    1. I know what you mean, Jim! It's funny in a corny way!

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  13. So the truth about national Geographic comes out at last, eh???? hahaha! Hope it was a great week-end, next one is supposed to be hot, Martha!

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    1. Yup, it sure does, Francie! It's not all smooth sailing for these people.

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  14. Hahahaha.. I especially love the Nat Geo one! It's always bothered me that despite having that done to his face, you can still clearly tell it's Ralph Fiennes.

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    1. I know what you mean. It's remarkable how much it still looks like him despite all that make-up.

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