“What I wanted most for my daughter was that she be able
to soar confidently in her own sky, whatever that may be.”
to soar confidently in her own sky, whatever that may be.”
- Helen Claes -
Earlier this week, I read a post by one of my favourite bloggers, Carolyn, that got me thinking about the way girls were raised in the past, and their role in society. Submissive. Inferior. Obedient. Docile. Their options, and thus their potential, limited.
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| The paving of a better road for my daughters begins with me. |
I grew up in a community with that type of mentality; where men were considered superior, and women were expected to serve them. Needless to say, I rebelled against all that nonsense, and was (I’m proud to say) considered one of the ‘difficult’ girls; the type that refused to submit to the status quo, paving the way for future generations.
Then I was blessed with two daughters...
I was their first teacher, and my job was to empower them. To further shed gender inequality. To open doors to their futures by breaking down the stereotypes that hold girls back. To help them believe that they can be whatever they choose to be.
I encouraged my daughters to explore opportunities that might lead to strong interests and careers. To express opinions. To ask questions. To believe that they have the right to speak up. To be heard. To be respected. To be valued.
I taught my daughters to embrace their femininity whilst achieving their goals. That there is no need to sacrifice their feminine energy in their quest for success. That they don’t need to become like men to strive for equality. That they should proudly strive for it as women.
Both girls are developing into confident, independent and determined young ladies. They have arrived in the world at a time when women have made huge strides. But despite how far we've come, there is still a long way to go. We must continue to pave the road to equality by teaching our children, sons and daughters, what it truly means, so each generation will continue to move forward.
Bless you for empowering them like you have. I know we still have a long way to go as a society in this regard.
ReplyDeleteWe all have a responsibility toward this type of change. If we all contribute, we'll keep moving forward; maybe even at a faster pace.
DeleteMorning, Martha and thank you …
ReplyDelete"I encouraged my daughters to explore opportunities that might lead to strong interests and careers. To express opinions. To ask questions. To believe that they have the right to speak up. To be heard. To be respected. To be valued."
Exactly … if I had had a Mother who led me this way? …. katy bar the door. I'd been … I dunno… as I typed that, millions of scenarios went through my head … from a dolphin trainer to President to astronaut to being a zoo operator to being a pilot to …. to .. owning my own pie factory or hotel chain to being a Mother by choice ~ not by societal demands ~ to… hmmm … well? no limitation.
wouldn't that be something… to have the self esteem to believe we can be or do anything ~ that we are worthy. … that we are people.
Interestingly, via several focus groups and studies, one of the reasons women STILL aren't paid equally is because we don't speak up…. we don't feel deserving or that doing so is unLADYlike or afraid of being a pushy cookie. … aside from the GOP, of course… ;) ~ they continually vote against the equal pay bill. and yet,? women will till vote Republican … mind bogglng
That ever present fine line between being aggressive or assertive. The societal notion that women who are assertive are bitches … will hopefully disappear before I die…. been fighting that crap all my life… hiss on it.
don't get me started… lol
Good on you, Martha… what lucky lucky daughters ... and I might add ... those beautiful fresh young faces ... make me swell and get teary eyed ... for their future ... so proud that we have come a long way ... we really have ~
I believe it always starts at home, Carolyn. A little encouragement goes a long way. I've never raised my daughters to believe that they are less important than boys. I've raised them to believe that they are equal. And that both men and women are simply people. And I certainly don't want them doing something that society expects them to. I want them to do what they want to do. If they want to be professionals with careers, great. If they want to stay home and raise children, great. As long as it's something that they decide. Both girls are on the right track, and I hope that if they have children one day, they continue to teach their children well.
DeleteThey are beautiful. Just like their mommy. Good for you and them. I so totally agree with you - 210%. I too have taught my daughter to be innovative, persistent, courageous, determined, assertive, critical thinker, powerful. But to temper those traits with empathy, compassion (being born under the sign of Cancer, she already was), giving. She's super tough, sensitive and has a heart of gold. Fantastic post! Cheers!!
ReplyDeleteBoth my girls are born under the sign of Cancer! And they are both like your daughter.
DeleteI want my girls to be proud of being women, and to seek whatever they want in life without the need to give up their wonderful feminine energy.
And they will. You raised em right! Cheers!!
DeleteLOVE this post Martha, hear hear!!!
ReplyDeleteThanks, Christine. You have a daughter, so you certainly know what I'm talking about.
DeleteAs your post says, it's important to remember that we haven't reached the promised land yet. Too many people, including today's young women, assume we have and that feminist values are no longer needed.
ReplyDeleteYou got it, Debra. We have to remind ourselves that the fight is not over yet. Far from it, actually. We have to keep marching on, and teach the younger generation the importance of doing so.
DeleteMartha, your daughters will be forever thankful for all that you have taught them. They are fortunate to have had you as their role-model. They will be ready to help move our society forward and far away from the old paternalistic culture of the past.
ReplyDeleteGreat post!
If the next generation continues this, we'll continue to move forward. It's so important, Jim. Society wins as a whole when women and men are valued.
DeleteWise words. Equality is a concept worth striving for!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Love love, Andrew. Bye.
It certainly is! Thanks for stopping by, Andrew, and for leaving a comment.
DeleteWonderful photos of such lovely ladies yes you to of course . I was raised by British parents so it was bit of both respect your parents and your elders but speak up when you feel you have to my mum always taught us that women are just as capable as men and not to let all the crap that is said discourage you in any way ! Thanks for sharing . Have a good day !
ReplyDeleteYour parents taught you well. That is a good balance. And empowering daughters is always a wonderful gift to give them.
DeleteAs a mother of a daughter I understand this. We have so far to go.
ReplyDeleteWe certainly do, Birdie. But at least we're moving forward.
DeleteSpeaking as a man (raising two boys) I can say that our lives have been enriched incredibly by the powerful, independent women around us. All the subtle and unsubtle ways our society has for squelching women and girls is not only wrong toward them - but impoverishes everyone's lives.
ReplyDeleteI think raising boys to respect and value women plays a huge part in society moving towards equality. Those who have sons, like you do, have a responsibility in helping bring about changes.
DeleteI've always rebelled against old cultures. It's shocking to see even women be misogynistic in a particular culture or setting. Daisy's parents are from Laos and some the older members of her family are very terrible about it. Even her parents treat her way different than her brother.
ReplyDeleteIf I ever have a daughter with Daisy, she will be raised much differently.
And then on my side I've pretty much become the anti-thesis of what you'd expect a Southerner to be like. The South has a long way to go before everyone is accepting of equality. From race, gender, religion, and rights for the LGBT community. The funny thing is many of these people consider themselves to be "moral" but "ironic" would be a better adjective.
Good for you, Adam. It takes courage to rebel against the majority's way of thinking and doing things, but it's important. If nobody ever rebelled, how would be bring about change? I think you and Daisy will raise an incredible daughter if you are ever blessed with one.
DeleteI laughed at your last statement about 'ironic' being a better adjective! Yes, for many people it's true!
I completely agree with you . My father was in this category. I taught with many women and the satisfaction of seeing them get out and take leadership roles.
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Red! Sometimes teachers play very important roles in empowering young women!
DeleteI grew up in an area that was still steeped in the traditions of women staying home, men going to work. I ended up living a very different life from my mother. While my parents encouraged me to get an education, I always felt their disapproval that I didn't marry young. I wasn't quite "right" until I got married. Bless you for thinking of your daughters futures and wanting the best for them.
ReplyDeleteAt least your parents encouraged you. It may have been conflicting for them because of society's pressures and norms, but they put you first.
DeleteYou are a hell of a woman, and the best mom one could have, it shows in their faces that look so much like yours, beautiful self-confident women who will add more Love and courage to our world so badly needing love, you've done an excellent 'service' to mankind Martha, and hopefully you'll inspire more and more women to do the same gender is irrelevant
ReplyDeleteThank you, Lorraine. I want my girls to grow to be confident and happy women. It's still very much a man's world, but each generation can help bring about change, and help society move forward. One step at a time, if need be, but at least a step!
DeleteWonderfully written. Two great girls you've got there. And they have a fantastic teacher.
ReplyDeleteThey're growing into very fine young ladies. I'm very proud of them both.
DeleteThat is wonderful. Much of that still exists. My parents encouraged us to try anything and told us we could be anything we wanted to be.
ReplyDeleteThey sound like lovely people!
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