Friday, April 3, 2015

Our Story (1): It Begins Here

“With all these forks in the roads of our path, why do so many choose to take the knife?”
- Anthony Liccione -

(As I mentioned earlier, I am setting in motion a series of posts that will share how my husband (the most amazing man in the world) and I eventually crossed paths. It begins here...)


My life is divided into two segments:
1) Before I met the most amazing man in the world
2) After I met the most amazing man in the world

My rebel years.
The first one involves my ex-husband who I met a couple of months before my 17th birthday. I won’t say anything really derogatory about him (no matter how tempting) because he is my childrens’ father and I don’t want to hurt them, but I will say that I couldn’t have chosen more badly. We were horribly mismatched. Polar opposites. Oil and water. Fire and ice. And a single word describes our entire relationship: toxic.

One wonders how someone who had the most gentle, loving, kind, patient and honest father would team up with a man on the opposite end of the spectrum. Well, I was young and immature and naïve and vehemently rebelling against the oppressive community I was raised in by shunning everything in it. Even the nice guys.

I swung the pendulum a little too far - as a rebellious nature will often do - and this led to the unintentional rejection of men like my father. The radical route I was on led to a lengthy and horrible relationship (and misaligned mindset) that took years to shed.

In any case, my ex and I dated (and fought and fought and fought) for several years and because I continued to foolishly believe that things would get better if I tried hard enough, we got married when I was 24. And that journey began.

To be continued... (click here)

(Incidentally, on the day my ex and I got married, the most amazing man in the world – who also has an ex - met the woman he would marry a few years later. The timing is remarkable.)

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone. And happy Easter to all who are celebrating!

39 comments:

  1. It is amazing with timing; almost chilling with the circumstance you mentioned; you getting married; your now amazing hubby meeting his ex. I've had a few incidents in my life of similar things with dates, fascinating.

    You are weaving a good story and leaving us wanting more (so write quickly, LOL). I can see the rebellious youth side of you coming out, I think we all have it and do make sometimes the not best of choices while we are in that stage of our lives.

    Looking forward to reading more.

    betty

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    1. Rebellion does sometimes lead to poor choices. I don't regret being a rebel because I was fighting a good fight, but I wish I hadn't swung the pendulum so far. Toning it done a bit would have been good.

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  2. Gosh Martha, all I have to say is that you have your wonderful girls so that part was not a mistake.

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    1. Most definitely, Christine! At least something good came out of that experience.

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  3. We all have to learn the hard way, don't we? Rebellious youth can be a hard way indeed.

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    1. You got that right. It would have been nice if I'd toned it down a bit, but I did fight for a good cause. At least I learned.

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  4. Good to read part 1! Looking forward to your next post!

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    1. Thank you, Bethany. I think I'll make it a weekly post until I'm done.

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  5. Rebellious or not, you were/are a hottie. I'll be back for more.
    Happy Easter!

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  6. Happy Easter Martha...
    We all have skeletons...
    I shall return for the next installment!
    Nice heels! hahaha!
    Cheers!
    Linda :o)

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    1. We sure do have skeletons. Some rather interesting ones, too!

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  7. Hi Martha
    You remind me of Olivia Newton John (when she was in Saturday Night Fever)

    I am so glad after a marriage that did not work out you met your 'one true love'

    Happy Easter ..
    Taking Rose on an Easter egg hunt ...that will be so much fun!

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    1. Late night here Martha and I got up for a glass of water and I got to thinking about my comment here ..
      It was Grease not Saturday Night Live ... had to get those facts straight ... LOL
      Olivia Newton John played Sandy ...remember that movie?
      Back to bed now to get some more zzzzzzzzz

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    2. *Saturday Night Fever* I like Saturday Night Live too ...LOL

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    3. It's so funny, Margie, but even if you hadn't come back to correct it, I thought of Grease. I hadn't even noticed that you hadn't written that. The mind is a funny thing!

      I hope you had a lovely time with your sweet Rose!

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  8. *in this photo* you remind me of her ..

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  9. My mom's first marriage was a similar story

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    1. Sadly, there are many similar stories. It's nice when people get out of toxic relationships.

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  10. OK, that is just weird about the dates being the same!

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  11. You have incredible insight into your situation and tell it well. You also learned by your mistake.

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    1. I did learn. Very well. And that's what's important. We all make mistakes but as long as we learn from them, we're on the right track.

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  12. You are lucky you're still not with hubby number one. I think when we're young we're all a little rebellious.

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    1. You bet, Linda! The ex is in a 'previous life' and that's the great thing about this!

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  13. Darn it my comment didn't stay, I am so so happy that you found the most wonderful man in the world because he sure met the most awesome girl in the world, I wish you both a wonderful Easter, and a visit from your daughters if they can, Bless you both xx

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    1. Thanks, Lorraine. I hope you are having a lovely weekend. And I hope you get to see your granddaughter!

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  14. Martha, it was your journey to take and discover. If you hadn't, you wouldn't be where you are today.
    at first glance, I thought that was a photo of your youngest daughter!!
    I think you were a little like Natalie Wood in 'A Rebel Without A Cause'.
    thanks for sharing this. Takes courage, my dear.

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    1. You are so right, Jim. And I think it's one of the most important journeys I ever took. I learned so much. Grew even more. These are good lessons in life that help us become who we are. It wasn't a fun time but it was necessary.

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  15. Oh it is just getting more exciting to read your story :)

    Wow, that picture spells a "rebellious" youth hehe you look cool & pretty.

    I'd be happy to hear how the toxic relationship later turned into a real fairy tale. :)

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    1. I was rebellious at that age, but fighting a good fight. I paved the road that my daughters are on. The only thing I regret is not making better choices in relationships in my younger years. But I did learn.

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    2. We all learn from our mistakes and hope that others learn from us and not make the same mistakes we have already done.

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    3. You bet. Whatever I learned, I pass on to my daughters. Their choices in relationships are much MUCH better. So something good came out of all this.

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  16. Happy Easter,

    Great picture Martha but if I had met you, you would not have been my type... I preferred my 'women' more traditional ha ha ha Like Margie when I saw you, Olivia and Grease wan in my mind ;)

    I love the quote from Anthony Liccione, so true, sometimes!

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    1. It's the 'traditional' part that started the whole rebellious nature, Richard! LOL... Well, if you know anything about old world Greeks you would understand. I did fight a good cause and paved a great road for my daughters. So it wasn't a complete loss.

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  17. Thanks for sharing this personal stuff with us.

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    1. It's fun putting this together. Reminds me how far I've come!

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  18. You certainly have hooked me with this small beginning to your story Martha!

    Now I'm scooting to Pt 2!!

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    1. It's starting to feel like I'm writing for a soap opera. LOL... But joking aside, I'm enjoying these posts. I'm looking back and remembering how far I've come over time. These were character building years.

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