“Pain makes you stronger, tears make you braver, and heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank the past for a better future.”
- Unknown -
(continuing from last time...)
When I was 11 ½ weeks pregnant with my second child, I started bleeding. I was horrified because it was the end of the first trimester when you begin to feel secure that you will not miscarry. It was the weekend and my ex was home from work, so I approached him with what I considered an emergency and asked him to please take me to the hospital.
|My brother, Steve, who passed away in 2011 clowning around|
with his younger niece. He was such an amazing uncle.
Instead of being alarmed like I was, he seemed annoyed at being disturbed while he was messaging and clowning around with his work pals on his computer. “Relax”, he said. “It’s probably nothing. Like the last pregnancy.” There was no sense of urgency. No support. No sensitivity or compassion. Not a shred of concern. Nothing.
But I wouldn't relax. I insisted on going to the hospital. He sighed and took me. The doctor who examined me found the baby’s heartbeat, and although there were signs of bleeding, the pregnancy seemed to be intact. To make sure everything was alright, he scheduled me for an ultrasound later in the week. My ex accompanied me there but left before the exam was done. Because...well, you know...too busy with work and other things. “You don’t really need me here, right?” No, of course not. Not as I wait with my heart pounding in my chest to find out whether everything is okay - or not – with our baby.
Thankfully, everything was fine. Apparently some women bleed occasionally when their periods would otherwise have been due, almost as if the body forgets that it’s pregnant for a few moments.
I tended to the majority of my pregnancy alone. My ex did not accompany me to any doctors’ appointments or to all the ultrasounds or to the visit with the nutritionist when I was bordering on being diabetic or to the weekly blood tests to make sure my sugar wasn’t too high. Because...well, you know...too busy with work and other things.
To be continued... (click here)