Friday, June 19, 2015

Our Story (18): Taking It To The Next Level

"I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life"
(Savage Garden - I Knew I Loved You)

(continuing from last time...)

So two weeks after our initial contact, we decided to get together in person and find out if we could connect beyond the virtual world. We made plans to meet up in the downtown area of Montreal (the city we were living in at the time) around 4 PM on Saturday, May 18, 2002. My kids were away at their father’s that weekend, so I was free to come and go as I pleased without worrying about them.

I decided to leave my car behind and travel by metro (subway); a fast and convenient transit system that is entirely underground and the main form of public transport in the city. This way, I wouldn’t have to worry about traffic or parking, which can be quite difficult and stressful in the downtown area.

As I prepared to leave for our date, I started to think about how attached I’d become to this man just from our abundance of emails and nightly phone chats. In this short but intense period of time, I had made him an integral part of my daily life. From the first moment I’d heard his voice my heart had created a space for him and I looked forward to our phone calls where we shared our day with one another along with so many other things. But we had not met in person and no matter how much I tried to ignore it, the nagging fear returned: “What if it’s all an illusion that we’ve built? What if we meet and the chemistry is not there? What if I don’t like him? What if he doesn’t like me?”

I contemplated delaying our meeting in person even further. Another week or two. Another month. I was very happy having him in my life, even if he was just a voice on the phone, and I was afraid that it might all end when we’d meet. Because I’d miss him. It was as simple as that. And it sounds silly – missing a voice - but our conversations had become precious. They had put a spark in my life that I hadn’t even realized before now had been missing. And if we met in person and the physical chemistry was absent, it would all come crashing. The space that he had filled would once again be empty. I would return home terribly disappointed and brokenhearted. Disillusioned and weary. Wondering if I’d ever want to take another chance after this.

And yet, despite these concerns, I felt optimistic, and to some extent I was convinced that I had met someone exceptional. There was that tiny part of me – perhaps it was the voice of my soul – that was confident that he and I were headed on an incredible journey together. I didn’t sense an ending, I sensed a beginning. Did I truly feel that way? Truly believe this? Or had I created yet another illusion?

Riding the metro with all that turbulence inside me that afternoon, it was obvious that I wasn’t entirely sure where I was headed but I was hopeful. And I wasn’t entirely sure how the day would pan out but I was willing to take the risk. Because I had to know. I had to know whether this story would end or whether he and I would write more chapters together.

I purposely arrived a little early to our meeting place because I wanted to give myself enough time to calm down and clear my head. That’s what I told myself. But the truth is I purposely arrived a little early to position myself in a way that he would see me before I saw him. In other words, I was going to somewhat hide with my back turned and let him find me. Because I was scared to death to find him. Scared to death of my initial response. And his, too. It was inevitable that we’d come face to face but I was buying some time. Keeping that illusionary world that we had built together alive for as long as possible. Right down to the last second.

So I flipped through the magazine that I’d brought along, keeping my eyes down, facing the opposite direction. And waited. Waited for him to arrive. Waited for him to spot me. Waited for him to walk over to me. My heart was pounding and my mind was racing when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

And with every ounce of courage in me, I turned around to take a look.

To be continued... (click here)

30 comments:

  1. oh man, this is beyond exciting, great post Martha! And sooo romantic!

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    1. This was one of the most exciting periods of my life. It was beyond anything I imagined!

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  2. Noooooooooooooooooo WHAT ARE YOU DOING MARTHA!!!! (yes there is 4 exclamation point) You can't just stop the story there, it's not proper blogging etiquette.

    Now every 15 minutes I'm going to hit refresh... until WHEN Martha WHEN?

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    1. Hahahaha! Sorry, I can't help but laugh. I had no idea there was proper blogging etiquette. I guess I blew that. I will have the second part of this story up tomorrow. Promise! I've been working on it and it'll be ready by then. PROMISE!

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  3. Goodbye story books...farewell movies...hasta luego Yahoo News articles: I'm reading Martha's blog!

    Oooh, I love how this story is so exciting, as I'm sure it was for you! One thing I like is how you admit your humanity and your doubts; I guess we all have them! Good reminder that it's ok to take risks sometimes. I guess I more or less evaluate everything like I do my chess games, and in life as in chess, sometimes I do play on the safe side. In my chess games at least I know sometimes it has cost me. I do believe in taking calculated risks though...and it looks like this one paid off for you!

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    1. Hahahaha...this comment is so funny!

      Well, I'm usually just like you, Bethany; pretty careful about risks. But once in awhile I throw caution to the wind. Because it adds a little excitement to the mix. And shaking things up a bit is sometimes good for us.

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  4. Who do you want to play you and The Most Amazing Man in the World when they make a movie from this wonderful story?

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    1. Hahahahaha! OHMYGOSH...this is funny. Hmm...I'll have to give it some thought. LOL...

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  5. I bet it was just wonderful when you guys looked at each other for the first time face to face :)

    betty

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    1. Sure was, Betty. I'll have a post about that later today.

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  6. " I turned around to take a look."

    ... and what happened next? We need to be told soon PLEASE ! You are doing so well with this we are all hooked !

    All the best Jan

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    1. Thanks, Jan. I have enjoyed putting this whole story together. The first few chapters were a little more difficult but these have been so much fun. Thanks for reading them!

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  7. OMG! You are killing us here! This is almost as exciting as Orange is the New Black!

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    1. HAHAHAHA! OHMYGOSH...this made me laugh :) Thanks for that, Birdie. I'll have another post up today.

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  8. What a teaser. Love it! Nicely written.
    Have a great weekend, Martha.

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    1. It was pretty exciting at the time, Robyn, and so the story has to be written that way.

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  9. I'd really like to hear what was going through HIS mind just before you met.

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    1. That would be his story to tell, Jean, so it's out of my control.

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  10. What a story teller! I'm just ready to see this guy and your reaction and you say next time. You really keep me hanging on to this story. I keep thinking, I wish she hadn't gone alone to meet this guy.

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    1. Well, by then I had his work number, home number. Knew where he worked and lived. His full name and many other things. And I suppose I could have at any given time just driven over to his job or home and hung around until I got a glimpse of him. But that would have been stalking :) All that to say that I had done my homework top to bottom by that time. Plus, we'd met in a very public and very busy place.

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    2. And if you'd taken a peek at him before meeting him all the surprise and excitement would have been gone.

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    3. Absolutely. It wouldn't have been as exciting.

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  11. Man what a story! catching up, and now can't wait for what happens next!

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  12. Martha, you have us all under your control!
    You would be a great script writer!

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    1. Hahaha! These comments have been fun. Thanks, Jim!

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  13. These are super fun to read. Off to the next installment ...

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    1. Hey Wonder Woman. I've fallen behind this weekend. Will catch up tomorrow. Hope you had a killer good couple of days.

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