Friday, July 31, 2015

What I’ve Learned In My Life So Far

I've learned to say no without feeling guilty and without always explaining myself. I didn't arrive at this point overnight; it took many years and many experiences. But as time went on, it got easier to set boundaries and enforce them.


Learning to say no is difficult, especially with people that bully, whine and try to manipulate or guilt you into doing something you really don't want to. But standing your ground is not only a way to respect and take care of yourself, but also necessary for your health and well-being.

Are you able to say no without feeling guilty?

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!

40 comments:

  1. I have had a difficult time learning to say no but it does get easier.

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  2. Never complain, never explain.

    "I can't do that," is reason enough.

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    1. Short, simple and to the point. A good answer to give.

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  3. My wife used to be shocked at how I wouldn't bother to justify myself when I'd say no to someone. It's a natural arrogance on my part, I guess, and a little bit harder for her to adopt. But it sure streamlines dealing with salespeople, proselytizers, and other unwelcome demands . . .

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    1. My husband, like you, is very much at ease with saying no without further justification. He uses simple statements like "I am not available", "No, thanks", "Not at this time", "I can't make it", etc. He's very comfortable with this method. He doesn't take on what he doesn't want to and I think that's great.

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  4. Saying no can be difficult indeed.

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  5. It's definitely one of those things you get better at as you get older and wiser.

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    1. For sure. A lot of things like this get easier as the years go by.

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  6. This is something that I have had to learn as I've grown older. Boundaries are my friend!

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    1. I totally agree! Boundaries are very good friends.

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  7. I can say no and not feel guilty (too much) but it depends on who I say "no" to. It is easier to say no to a non family member :)

    Have a great weekend yourself!

    betty

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    1. That certainly makes sense, Betty. It all depends on who's asking.

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  8. So, so true and on my "work on this" list. The hubster will sometimes tell me, "you can say no and leave it at that, you don't owe anyone any excuses, 'no' is good enough."

    I've gotten better to saying "no" to the question "would you like whipped cream?" but even that took some work.. ;)

    Thanks for posting this! Happy Friday!

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    1. I think you'll find that it gets easier as the years go by. When I was a young'un like you, it was tougher. Now that I'm (a little :) older, it's very easy!

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  9. I have often found it harder to say no than yes

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  10. I have NO problem saying NO, but I prefer to say Yes!

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    1. It all depends on what the request is and who makes it! Sometimes saying no is the only option!

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  11. I've always preferred to say YES but sometimes you do have to say NO ... think it gets easier with age!

    Happy Weekend
    Happy August ... well it will soon be here.

    All the best Jan

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    1. You got it. Sometimes you have to say no. Happy August!

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  12. I find "no" easy - it's the automatic word out of my mouth. Both requests from others and suggestions for activities. I've had to teach myself to stop and think for a moment before I reply. Is there any reason not to agree to this easy request for help? Maybe I would actually enjoy going out with friends instead of sitting at home? I have to make my self not say "no" straight away until I have considered it.

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    1. A good balance is certainly important. Perhaps you'll get to that place by practicing!

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  13. No! Most of the time I can say no but I can be swayed. How do you feel when people say no to you?

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    1. I'm pretty good at accepting an answer of 'no'. I figure if I want others to accept it from me, I should graciously accept it from them.

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  14. It's so important, to say no when we need to. Yet time and time again, I hear about women feeling guilty.

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    1. True. I think many of us are raised that way. It's hard to overcome it but necessary.

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    2. I find it's more the case with women than men but I've never taken a pole, so I'm not sure. I'm okay with the word, no. No is a good word. I don't feel guilt, even when I have to say it to myself. But then, right now, I've got bigger concerns than if I hurt someone's feelings because I can't do something and need to say no.

      That sounds meaner than it really is, but hopefully you know where I'm coming from. And since you knew that I had a cookery and bake magazine hiding behind my Dummies book, you just might.

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    3. I don't know for sure but I suspect, like you, that it's harder for women to say no. I wouldn't be surprised if that truly is the case. But no, it doesn't sound mean at all to me. Saying no is perfectly understandable and acceptable. It's accepting no that some individuals can't seem to do. Indeed, I totally get you.

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  15. It took me a while to learn this, Martha. Eventually I did though and it makes things so much easier on oneself.

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    1. You got it, Jim. It's necessary for our health and well-being.

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  16. No, no matter what I've said no for, I always think back if it was ok that I did. But life thought me tough lessons just to be able to say that now. It's good I listened to what experience had to teach me :)

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    1. Yes, it certainly is good. Sometimes it's vital to say no.

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  17. Yes! This is a very important life lesson! Of course I still feel a little regret at saying no sometimes, but I'm becoming better and better at it. It's good to know I don't need to list excuses. Saying no is a right, and in some ways it's our duty not to allow ourselves to be manipulated.

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    1. Absolutely, Bethany! And there are bullies and manipulators out there waiting to pounce. Saying no is sometimes very crucial!

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  18. Yes, Girl I've learn to take better care of myself...and am better for it! I know you feel it too, and I'm thrilled about the life you've earned and worked for, your the best !

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    1. We must always take care of ourselves. And saying no when necessary is good for us.

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