Tuesday, December 1, 2015

I'll See You Again

"To live in hearts we leave behind
Is not to die."
- Thomas Campbell, "Hallowed Ground" -


Christmas a long time ago. My brother, Steve, on the left.
Christmas has always been - and always will be - my favourite holiday of the year. Not because of the gifts or the decorations or the food or the commercialism that many get tangled up in, but because of the people I share it with. The ones who make it magical. Memorable.

But as I get older, it becomes more and more bittersweet. And just as my heart swells with love and affection for the ones I will celebrate with, it's also heavy with grief as I'm reminded of someone I loved dearly who is no longer with us.

So just like last year, I'd like to begin this month's abundance of holiday posts with a dedication to my brother, Steve, who died in April 2011. This will be the fifth Christmas without him, and even though the grief has lifted, it rears its ugly head this time of year as I reminisce about all the wonderful times we had together. It is the price of love.
"If love could have saved him, he would have lived forever."


I miss his smile, his voice, his hearty laugh, his way of thinking, his wacky sense of humour, his dedication and loyalty to our family, the way he adored his nieces, his unique outlook on life, his generosity, his kindness, his honesty and everything else that made him remarkable. Most of all, I miss his presence in all our family gatherings and celebrations. And in my life.

No matter how many Christmases come and go, I will always wish he was here to celebrate with us. I can't change what has happened but I can keep his memory alive. Because no one as special as he was should ever be forgotten.


I'll see you again, Steve.




44 comments:

  1. He sounds like such a wonderful man. Thinking of you today!

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  2. To me, this is what the holidays are truly about. Looking at his picture I was surprised how alike ya'll look! Marvelous, methinks :) Your memories are wonderful, thank you for sharing :)

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    1. You got it, girl. This is exactly what the holidays are all about.

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  3. I can do without almost everything Christmas represents but the time with family. It is the best part.

    Your brother was far too young to go. I am so sorry for not only your loss but that deep hurt that you have to carry. Much love to you.

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    1. He was too young. I looked forward to us growing old together. Life had different plans for him. It goes like that sometimes.

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  4. So sorry for your loss, Christmas can be a bittersweet time.

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  5. "Those who are remembered, live." Hugs to you, Martha.

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  6. So sorry for the premature loss of your brother. I can't imagine how difficult the holidays must be. You wrote a wonderful tribute. Keep those wonderful memories of your dear brother alive in your heart.

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    1. That is exactly what I do, Linda; always keep his memories alive!

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  7. Sorry for your loss.

    I like to think they are with us still especially when we need them to be.

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  8. I like your line "it is the price of love." So true if we love, we are going to at some time grieve, but it is worth loving nonetheless. Your brother sounded like a wonderful man. I am glad you share him on your blog from time to time. We do need to keep alive memories of those we have loved and lost.

    betty

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    1. That's right, Betty. When we love, we risk grieving. But it's worth it.

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  9. Awe that is such a sweet tribute. I am so sorry for the loss of your brother. May you find peace and comfort in the wonderful memories.

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    1. It's much easier now. I'm used to him being gone. But that doesn't mean I don't miss him.

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  10. My mother, father and my aunt all died this year. Not sure how Christmas is going to feel this year. I still have my husband and lovely children with me.

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  11. Take care and remember that the depth of your grief reflects the depth of your love.

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    1. Beautifully said. Yes, the depth of grief reflects the depth of love.

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  12. I understand that feeling Martha.... sending some warm hugs your way. ~ Diane

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  13. A great tribute to your brother. It's better to talk about things rather than try to forget about them. Christmas is a tough time to deal with losses. Great idea to post something every day leading up to Christmas.

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    1. I agree. Talking about things helps us heal and move forward. Everyone deals with grief in life, and this time of year it magnifies.

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  14. My uncle died right before we stopped doing holiday gatherings at my aunt's (his sister) house. I think it was easier on us having it somewhere new. I can still remember him wandering in late through the side door.

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    1. I'm glad you found a new place that helped with the grief. Sometimes we need to make changes to move forward.

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  15. This made me tearful, in a bittersweet way. Martha, posts like this are a meaningful way to honor your brother and yourself.
    I'm sorry it's so hard this time of year, and I have empathy.
    Hugs and love.

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    1. Thanks, Robyn. We are a close family, so we really miss the ones who have moved on.

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  16. Such a beautiful post Martha.
    Our loved ones walk forever in our heart ...

    A slightly tearful hug coming your way ... Sincere good wishes too

    All the best Jan

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    1. They really do walk forever in our heart, Jan. Thank you for this!

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  17. That is so beautiful. I feel that way about my Rich. He will live on as long I keep his memory alive

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    1. Indeed, Barb. People we love never really leave us. They are always here...right inside our heart.

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  18. This is a lovely tribute to your brother, Steve, Martha. He is living through your memories and love of him. That is a wonderfully infinite tribute.
    Big hugs to you and your family.

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    1. Thanks, Jim. I will always keep his memory alive. He was so special to me.

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  19. Your memories will hold him tightly within you, Martha. Missing someone will never stop but hopefully will find it's proper place deep within your kindness!
    Love this song!
    Ron

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    1. You're so right, Ron. We never stop missing the people who have moved on but the grief lessens and we keep their memory alive. Thank goodness for all the wonderful times we shared with them.

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  20. i admire your posts about your brother, they resonate quite closely with me and your words are just so simple and full of truth. i miss my brother everyday but the holidays make it especially difficult, his bday, our mom's and i too, as they all fell within the same week. those of us that live with the grief of losing ones too soon get a grip on a very certain perspective and that is a gift additionally to maintaining them alive through our memories. this life, sometimes tho, is very very tough and sad.
    lots of holiday hugs and love xxom.

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    1. I wish this was something we didn't share. Yes, this life sometimes is tough and sad. I've got a lot of wonderful memories of my brother and I am so grateful for the time I had with him. Hugs to you, too...thank you...xo

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  21. Five Christmases, so sorry. Loved Debra's comment.

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    1. And there'll be many more. That's just life. We go on but we remember.

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