Saturday, April 9, 2016

Remembering My Brother

Who died five years ago on April 09, 2011  at the age of 47. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him. Not a day goes by that I don't miss him. Thankfully time has helped heal the wound that was once so deep and so raw and so painful I could barely stand it.

Always on my mind, forever in my heart.

As the years go by, I've gotten used to a new normal even though I've never stopped wishing things could have been different. Most importantly, I have reached a point in my life where I've accepted that the questions that once threatened to suffocate me  will never be answered. That there is truly no way I could have prevented his death. And so the pain has subsided with the passage of time even though the ache remains. But an ache that I can live with.

One thing that will never change is my determination to keep his memory alive for as long as I live. And so today I remember my beloved brother, Steve, who left us much too early. The world became a sadder place when he left it. But I am forever grateful to have been given the time I had with him. It was an honour and a blessing.

Perhaps we'll meet again one day...


42 comments:

  1. Oh Martha, very touching and like you, I am thankful for the time I had with the ones, now gone.

    Hugs & Bugs
    --- Me

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    1. Hugs that include bugs are the best hugs of all! Thanks for that. You're the best. Now try saying the hugs and bugs sentence over and over again...a real tongue twister :)

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    2. That is really hard to say ten times fast. Tim just asked me what I was doing. lol.

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    3. HAHAHA! We are nutty. I tried to say it, too :)

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  2. A great tribute to your brother. Writing is a good way deal with your loss. My sister died in 1953 at age eleven. She would easily have survived her illness if it was today.

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    1. Thanks, Red. Yes, writing is a wonderful way to deal with losses. It always works for me. I'm so sorry about your sister. That must have been a terrible time for your family. Medicine has come a long way since then.

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    2. Martha, I can just picture the two of you together as you were growing up. I am very sorry for your loss, you write of him with such great love. xx

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    3. Kay, thank you so much for stopping by. My childhood was amazing because of my brother. We were only 11 months apart and inseparable. My relationship with him is the closest I ever got to having a twin!

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  3. I am sorry for your loss. Your post is beautiful and such a nice tribute to your brother. I agree that the heartbreak of loss never really goes away but you find a new normal. I, too have been through that and appreciate that sense of something that now missing where it once was. (((hugs)))

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    1. Thank you, Cheryl. Things never do go back to being the same but we do carve out a new normal. Life goes on, after all.

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  4. (((Martha))) Sending you a hug. I haven't lost a sibling (yet) but have lost a parent. You are right; its the new normal. Life does go on but it is never the same.

    betty

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    1. Thanks so much, Betty. All the hugs from my blogging friends are really appreciated. Thank goodness time helps to make it easier.

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  5. Lovely tribute , They are always in our hearts and memories .

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    1. Always and forever, Country Gal. Thank you for stopping by today.

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  6. beautiful post Martha and lovely tribute to your brother

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  7. Sending you hugs today. "Who is remembered, lives."

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    1. That is a wonderful quote, Debra, and so true. Thanks for the hugs! That's all I needed.

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  8. Martha I am so sorry for your loss. It obviously came with a lot of pain and unanswered questions. You are correct about a new reality, especially when you lose family members. It is like you belong in a new club of people. -Jenn

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    1. Perfectly said, Jenn. Our world shift and we have to adjust to new ways. Thank you for stopping by today.

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  9. I'm sorry for your loss. The post is a good tribute.

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    1. Thanks, John. One of many! I want to keep his memory alive. He was so special.

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  10. I know from reading your blog how incredible difficult it was losing your brother. Thank you for sharing with us. It is unimaginable how difficult it was for you to write this.

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    1. You are right, Birdie, it was very difficult, and even more so because I wrote it close to the time I got the call about his death 5 years ago. My brother's premature and shocking death is one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with in my life. Thank goodness for time passing by!

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  11. Such a lovely and heartfelt tribute to your brother, Steve. Yes, he will live on, Martha.

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    1. Thanks, Jim. Yes, he lives on in me. For as long as I am here!

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  12. I'm glad everyone is taking National Siblings Day seriously. It's all over my Facebook

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    1. I agree, Adam! A lot of my friends posted stuff about it. It was nice!

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  13. Good for you for keeping your dear brother's memory alive!

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    1. It's something I enjoy doing. He is worth at least that much! Thanks for stopping by, Linda.

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  14. Prayers for your brother. Good to keep the remembrance of our loveable once...

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    1. Thank you for stopping by and leaving this kind comment!

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  15. A great tribute.
    The loved ones we lose stay in our hearts forever ...

    All the best Jan

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    1. They certainly do, Jan. Thank you for stopping by!

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  16. I'm so sorry for your loss!

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