Thursday, August 25, 2016

Inside My Introverted Brain

I've been asked this question many times in my life:
"Why are you so quiet?"

Many, many times. By family members, friends, neighbours, coworkers, strangers, and on and on. It's actually a very annoying question but one that doesn't seem to go away. So I roll my eyes and sigh.

I am an introvert, you see, so it's not unusual for me to say very little when I'm with a group of people, particularly if that group of people is not very familiar to me. When I first get together with individuals I don't know that well, I like to listen and observe. This allows me the opportunity to familiarize myself with the crowd.


Other times I'm not particularly interested in participating in a conversation that I can't relate to. Or a conversation that is so contrary to what I stand for that it would lead to a pretty heavy argument if I inserted my opposing opinion. Don't get me wrong, there are times when I will absolutely add my two cents in and defend what I believe should be defended. But first I will determine if this is a worthwhile battle. This is how listening and observing, first, comes in handy.


And, of course, there are times when you just can't get a word in. Because sometimes a group is dominated by the loudmouth who likes to listen to his/her own voice, interrupts everybody, rambles on and on, and completely monopolizes the conversation. This is the type of person that can lead to this exchange:


Are any of you introverts like me? And if so, have you ever been asked about being quiet?

42 comments:

  1. I am an introvert but I can talk a hind leg off a mule.

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    1. HAHAHA! I never heard that before. That's funny :)

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  2. Yes, definitely, and I can't tell you how many times I've tried to explain the difference between introverted and shy. I'm a classic introvert, but I'm not shy. I just don't like small talk, and I prefer to be by myself. However, if I'm in the right situation, I can talk forever. I'm much like that second meme you posted.

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    1. Definitely a classic introvert. I'm very much the same. And I can also talk forever in the right situation and with the right people!

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  3. I hope I remember to use the loud line

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  4. Being quiet is not a problem. Need to be active in doing our works.

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    1. It sure isn't a problem. I like a little quiet now and then.

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  5. Interesting posters. Quiet? But when you say something it is important.

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    1. You bet! I don't always feel the need to talk just to fill up silence.

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  6. Oh yes! Introverts stop and think before talking; extroverts talk without thinking.

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  7. I'm not an introvert, and I don't get asked about being quiet very often. But I do hear people asking my quieter friends about it often, and even asking me if said friends are shy. It can get annoying/very old, when I know said "quiet" people well enough to know that some of them can be more loquacious than any of the askers given the right situation.

    I think this question is due to a mixture of ignorance, insecurity, and/or curiosity. If the one asking knew better or was more experienced in the art of conversation, he or she would ask an intelligent question that would give the "quiet person" a chance to express him/herself on a relevant topic.

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    1. You said it, Bethany! That summarizes it. I can talk up a storm under the right circumstances. I just don't feel the need to ramble on all the time. I've always said that it's best to think before you speak. And that habit is even more important when you are about to ask a question!

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  8. I'm an introvert; sometimes I engage and sometimes not. But I don't always think first! Loved the illustrations.

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    1. You strike me as a very thoughtful person, Louise, so I have a feeling you think a lot more than you know! I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

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  9. Most certainly I would say I am an introvert. Having said that, I can talk your ear off IF it is something I am passionate about!

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    1. I can totally relate to that, Kay. An interesting topic makes any introvert very passionate and eager to talk about it!

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  10. I am an introvert, but sometines I talk too much around family. I tend to be shyer around people I don't know.

    Betty

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    1. We are kindred spirits, Betty! I'm very much like that.

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  11. I am not a big fan of small talk. I also am fine with silence. I don't feel that you need to fill space with the sound of senseless talking. My mother in law used to mute commercials on tv just so she could talk during that time. I am not a big phone talker either. My son is very much like me. My husband and daughter are the opposite. They are comfortable talking to anyone. -Jenn

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    1. I am exactly like you, Jenn. I also don't feel the need to fill space with senseless talking. Sometimes silence is golden!

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  12. You find the BEST memes! People regard being quiet like it's a sin or something, eh? Sheesh -- EXTROVERTS.

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    1. I know, right? Those good for nuthin' extroverts...LOL...

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  13. Hey, I couldn't say this any better myself. You describe exactly the way I operate. It takes me a long time to find my vocal chords in a new group. I also enjoy sitting outside where I'm alone.

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    1. We are very similar with all that. And spending time outside alone is great. We can relax and 'listen' to our thoughts.

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  14. Introverted through and through, prefer pets to people and need my down time...

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  15. I've had the same experience with being quiet.
    Sometimes I'd rather be alone. Sometimes I like doing things with others.

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  16. I love, love, love that second one. All of them are good.

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  17. I liked Furry Gnomes sentence " Oh yes! Introverts stop and think before talking; extroverts talk without thinking."

    All the best Jan

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    1. He pretty much summed it up! Hope you're having a lovely Sunday, Jan.

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  18. I am like you (no surprise) in that I like to size up the group before launching into the discussion. I really think listening before talking is an important step.

    I waiver between being an introvert and extrovert depending on my comfort level in a group, the topic, my knowledge of the topic etc.

    While I may chat up a storm while being stuck in a line, I might not say a word to a group that is talking politics especially if they are promoting an ideology that I am opposed to.

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    1. I can relate to all of this, Cheryl. Politics and religion. Those are two topics that I try to avoid unless I'm with a group of people that are open to different opinions and thoughts, and are capable of having a sensible, respectful - and peaceful - discussion.

      And I totally agree: listening gives you the ability to size up the group you are in to determine whether you want to participate or not.

      I hope you are enjoying a wonderful weekend! We'll catch up on email.

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  19. Wouldn't say I'm an introvert but I agreed with and like all of the above!

    There are days I'm loud, days I'm not. there are days I wish people would leave me alone, and then days where I want people around me.

    Maybe it's just 'work' me. When I work I want silence and to be alone to get on with it, other times I wished I had people to hang out with.

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    1. All understandable. Your social needs depend on what you're doing. I have days when I love getting together with other people. And days where being just with 'me' is enough.

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  20. It was such a relief for me when I found out what "introverted" really means a few years ago - after being asked, "Why are you so quiet?" all my life, after always feeling like I was "wrong" and broken for preferring to hang back and observe instead of jumping right into new activities, to finally know that I was completely normal.

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    1. I know exactly what you mean because I spent years wondering the same things until introversion finally became known! What a relief that was.

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