Tuesday, October 25, 2016

What I’ve Learned In My Life So Far

I've learned that...


Amazing, isn't it, how different perspectives can be? This applies to everything, including religion and politics, two topics of conversation that can - and oftentimes do - lead to disharmony. Insults are tossed back and forth, anger ensues and relationships are tested and sometimes destroyed when people don't see eye to eye. Haven't we all been guilty of this type of behavior at some point in our lives?

In my own circle, I have family members and friends whose views on many subjects compared to mine are so contrary that one wonders how on earth we could possibly get along. Well, we maintain a relationship as long there isn't nasty mudslinging and derogatory comments. A difference of opinion is fine. Name calling and belittling isn't.

What do you think?

46 comments:

  1. It is always a nice concept when we can all agree to be able to disagree and do this in a civil manner.
    A good "food for thought" post today, Martha...don't you agree :)

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    1. If only everyone would do this. Imagine how peaceful the world would be.

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    1. I'm currently working on the not getting inwardly upset part when someone says something unintelligent, idiotic, or potentially offensive, and instead trying to figure out what makes him/her think the way he does or express herself in a particular way. It should be better for my health and peace of mind, though I don't think everyone will appreciate me evaluating them like a psychiatrist would! :D

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    2. This is a great road you are headed on, Bethany. People will always say things that can be upsetting, even hurtful. We can never change or stop that. How we respond to them is what really matters. And questioning why they behave in this way is a step toward finding peace within ourselves. You won't always find the answers (most of the time it's fear or ignorance; sadly, sometimes people are just mean)but when you contemplate rather than have a knee jerk reaction, you are headed toward calm It's like counting to ten but in a contemplative manner. Keep doing this regularly and you'll start doing it without even thinking about it. It gets easier over time. No one will know you're even doing this if you do it eternally! :)

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    3. Good to know! For the most part I've mastered the art of either responding kindly and respectfully or not responding at all, but sometimes my facial expressions seriously contort and my thoughts are fiery and distressed (not fun...good to know the rationalizing part will eventually come naturally).

      The other tough spot is when I ask someone her opinion on something, to take it as it is and thank her for sharing it, rather than correct her on her opinion! :D

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    4. It's not easy being human! :)

      My eyes usually give me away. You can read me down to my very soul sometimes through them. Ah, well, we try our best.

      I always say "take the higher road". Forgive, ignore, walk away. It's not always easy but there'll certainly be a lot less conflict.

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  3. i have learned to say that this is not a good topic for me and change the subject. The problem is when the other person wants to try to change my views. I don't know if it is a good thing or a bad thing but my views are unwavering when it comes to the topics of caring for people before anything else. Not talking about it with certain friend or family members is sometimes a good thing. I can get really upset and angry!

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    1. Trying to force your views on someone else is when the trouble begins! I'm not very good with that. Sometimes it's best not to get into a discussion that you know won't go well at all!

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  4. So true. I appreciate the people in my life that can disagree but be OK with alternate points of view. It seems some people just can't consider any ideas that are different than theirs.

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    1. Indeed. Some people take it so personally. And don't allow others their own opinion. That's when the fights being... :)

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  5. Very timely post, and you are so right!

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    1. The night before I wrote this post, I discovered that a very old friend is not who I thought she was! I didn't mind the difference of opinion but she takes shots at individuals who have a different political and social view on life. To say I was surprised is a real understatement!

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  6. Yes, I totally agree with that statement. In fact something is happening in our family right now that one sees something totally different than the other and its the exact same thing.

    betty

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    1. I don't think there's a family around that doesn't deal with this. It can be quite stressful!

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  7. Different view points are fine with me. And a little off topic but not all the way off, I love how two people can see one piece of art, and see two different things. I think that is so flippin' cool.

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    1. It is VERY cool! That's what I love about art. The different views.

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  8. It's okay to disagree as long as you respect the other person's right to their opinion.

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  9. Conversation is a skill, that's for sure.

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  10. It seems many families have conflicts so your advice is good.

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  11. I've had opposing viewpoints make no difference in relationships, and I've had opposing viewpoints damage relationships. It is what it is, I guess.

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    1. It truly is what it is. Some people can accept a different viewpoint; others can't.

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  12. Each person's own experiences will shape their perspective. How one sibling, for example remembers a childhood can be completely different from another sibling. I try to avoid open conflict like the plague. It makes me very uncomfortable. -Jenn

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    1. I'm with you, Jenn. I like harmony in my life and I work very hard at living that way.

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  13. We may strongly disagree on some things but there are many other things we agree on and that makes the difference.

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    1. It's good to reach a healthy middle ground and get along.

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  14. Two people (or more) looking at the same thing and seeing something very different is the reason that eyewitness accounts of events are quite often not reliable. But you're right: When people disagree, it helps if they can be pleasant about it.

    Love,
    Janie

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    1. You make a very good point about eyewitness accounts. That is so true!

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  15. I like how Linda has worded it "It's okay to disagree as long as you respect the other person's right to their opinion."

    Change of subject - can you believe that it's almost mid-week!!! Enjoy your Wednesday

    All the best Jan

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    1. It truly is amazing how quickly the week goes by, Jan! Happy rest of the week to you :)

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  16. May we display your header on our new site directory? As it is now, the site title (linked back to your home page) is listed, and we think displaying the header will attract more attention. In any event, we hope you will come by and see what is going on at SiteHoundSniffs.com.

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    1. Hi, Jerry, thanks for stopping by. Yes, go ahead and use the header. I've checked out your site directory and I'll go back again to take another look at the blogs. I might discover another one I'd like to follow!

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    2. Thank you so very much for giving permission. You can see your linked header under All, Daily Life and Canada. If you could say something (preferably good) about SiteHoundSniffs.com here and there, I would greatly appreciate it.

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    3. I'll check it out, Jerry, and work on something for my blog. Thanks!

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  17. I remember when this concept 'hit me between the eyes' so to speak. It was a turning point in my young life. I try to keep my both eyes wide open and attempt to appreciate another's perspective and where they are coming from. Doesn't always work out smoothly but as you said keeping it civil helps.

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    1. It's a constant work in progress, Jim. Nobody is perfect and we all slip up sometimes. Agreeing to disagree is the best thing to do but not always the easiest!

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  18. Something very true this election season.

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  19. Hence the vitriol in the American elections...You are absolutely right!

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  20. Absolutely agree and it happens all the time in my family.

    I think it's because the thing/person means different things to different people. It even happens with differing opinions on people. For example, there's a renovation show here called The Block and there's a chick on it who reminds me of my sister in law who I really don't like. But I happen to like the chick on the show. My mother hates her and has said she's a thief and is stealing all the money for basically the entire show. I asked mum the other day who she hates so much that reminds her of the chick on the show, she said nobody. Apparently we transfer issues onto other things and people.

    Of course that's another issue so getting back to the post, not everyone's going to see/like/think the same things. It's just the way we are, and yes, it's quite amazing how differing we can be.

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    1. So true. And even when we're really aligned on matters with someone, there'll still be differences. We're all different and so are our perspectives.

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